I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
