Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
