got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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