What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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