I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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