People in love make me want to vomit
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
how drunk are you?
Several
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
