Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Randomize
