How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
