Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
