Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
