She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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