so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
