Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
