8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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