Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
