he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
