At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
