in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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