We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you traded sex for a burrito?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
