Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's Friday. Sex?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
