It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
