Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
