i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
