If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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