o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
