im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
