He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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