She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
