Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
