how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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