smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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