This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
