I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
