He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
