apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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