So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
