i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
