you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
