We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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