Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
