Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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