Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
