last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
