It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
