We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
