It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
