my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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