the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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