Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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