Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
